Having worked out how to upload pictures, I've posted a rather deceptive photo on my profile page.
Otherwise, have recently come across Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary online. Occasionally rather predictable, but here's a selection (including a rather Beckettian definition of 'Dead', a rather Humean definition of 'Effect', and a rather interesting definition of 'symbol':
CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement ofhis own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
DEAD, adj. Done with the work of breathing; done/ With all the world; the mad race run /Though to the end; the golden goal /Attained and found to be a hole!
DICTIONARY, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growthof a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together inthe same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate theother — which is no more sensible than it would be for one who hasnever seen a dog except in the pursuit of a rabbit to declare therabbit the cause of a dog.
EPITAPH, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created thefuture state.
SYMBOL, n. Something that is supposed to typify or stand forsomething else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" — things which having no longer any utility continue to exist because we haveinherited the tendency to make them; as funereal urns carved onmemorial monuments. They were once real urns holding the ashes of thedead. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.